Why do we regret our sins? Why do we look back with sorrow over the mistakes that we have made? Is it because we have offended God or is it because we had some unpleasant consequences that we had to deal with? Many times regrets have nothing to do with God. We often try to blame our poor decisions on others: parents, spouses, or friends. We have regret because we got caught. We have regret because we got sick. We regret because we lost other, better opportunities.
Salvation or Death
God's word says there are two types of regret - one that leads to repentance and one that leads to death. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 7:9 that he isn't rejoicing because the Corinthians felt sorry, but that he rejoices because their sorrow led them to repent. It's easy to feel sorry for something we have done, but much more difficult to repent of it. Repentance means that we turn away from something. We change our behavior. A person can feel sorry that they got drunk and beat their wife, but that doesn't mean they won't do it again and again.
2 Corinthians 7:10 says this,
"For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Sorrowing For Yourself
Sorrow without repentance really is a sorrow that is only concerned with self. What did that bad thing do to me? What harm happened to me? What did I miss out on? Godly sorrow however, recognizes that sin offends God. God hates sin. Sin separates us from God. Worldly sorrow puts us at the center of everything, while Godly sorrow places God first and foremost. Worldly sorrow and regret makes us feel better about ourselves because we believe that sorrow is repentance but it isn't. Regret and sorrow that leads to change; to true repentance, salvation and forgiveness for sin in Christ, is godly sorrow.
Judas's Regret
Matthew 27:3-5 shares a story of someone we are very familiar with who was filled with worldly sorrow, with regret - Judas. Judas felt regret for what he did to Jesus. He was remorseful but he was not repentant. Because he did this terrible thing, he couldn't live with himself and chose suicide as a way to deal with the pain. He never turned his eyes off of himself. He never repented for offending God.
Peter's Regret
Contrast this disciple with another disciple that betrayed Jesus - Peter. Peter and Judas both were disciples. They both walked with our Lord for three years seeing His miracles. The night of Jesus's arrest Peter denied even knowing Jesus, not once but three times. However, in John 21: 15-19 we see a repentant Peter standing before the resurrected Christ sobbing and telling Jesus, "You know that I love you". Peter spent the rest of His life serving Jesus and ultimately died for Him. What a different outcome from that of Judas.
Condemnation Is Not From God
According to Psychology Today, regret can lead to damaging mental and physical effects. Constantly dwelling on past sins can lead to depression. People who can't let go of the past live with a cloud over them. Feeling condemned is not of God. The Bible tells us that there is no condemnation for those in Christ (Romans 8:1). Romans 8:28 says that if we love God, if we are called according to His purpose, then all things work together for good. Maybe the good was your repentance, maybe the good was freedom from addiction, maybe the good was a closer walk with our Lord. This is never to say that sin is good, no certainly not, but that God can use our mistakes to teach us and to change us for the better.
Forget What Lies Behind
When we have repented of our sins but we seem to be unable to rid ourselves of the negative emotion of regret, try stopping and simply thanking Jesus for the forgiveness that He has given you for that sin. Rejoice in the fact that we are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). In Paul's letter to the Philippians he tells them that he is,
"forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead," (Philippians 3:13)
Paul had much to regret. He arrested and contributed to the deaths of Christians until his conversion. But Paul says he forgets the past and reaches forward to what lies ahead. And what is that? Verse 14 tells us,
"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Let's be like Paul. Let's press on and forget what lies behind knowing that Jesus has forgiven us completely if we have repented with godly sorrow.
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