Jealousy can be the destroyer of families. Most of us have seen how jealousy ravages families—either our own or someone we know. Jealousy, in the Bible is a Greek word, zēlos, the word zeal comes from it. This word can be used positively or negatively. When it is used negatively, it means that we are afraid that someone may gain an advantage over us, often rooted in pride. Envy, in many cases, is used synonymously with jealousy in the New Testament.
Jealousy, Where Every Evil Thing Is There
The ultimate root of both jealousy and envy is pride. In James 3: 14-16, James says that the root source of envy (jealousy) is demonic and that where envy and self-seeking exist, "every evil thing is there". When we live for self, when we are focused only on what we want to get ahead, it will lead to hurting others just to get it. We will never be satisfied. We will constantly want what others have that we don't. This attitude fills our hearts with selfish ambition to do whatever we have to to get the things we want.
The Prodigal Son
The Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke15: 11-32) offers an example of how jealousy can show up within a family. When the prodigal son returns, his overjoyed father throws him a party and welcomes him with open arms, despite the wayward son's confession that he is unworthy to be called his son. But what of his older brother?
The Prodigal's Older Brother
The older brother’s reaction reveals his deep-seated jealousy. When he comes in from a hard day's work and hears celebrating, he asks what has happened. When he learns his brother has returned, his first response is anger. He is so angry he refuses to even enter the house. His father pleads with him but the older brother replies with three "I" statements.
He reminds his father that "I" have served you for years.
He tells his father that "I" have never broken your rules.
He says that "I" never got a big party with even a goat, much less a fatted calf.
His jealousy and pride blinded him to the joy of his brother’s return. This jealousy, where every evil thing is there, tried to destroy his family.
"This Son Of Yours"
Then we really see a window into his soul. He can't bring himself to even call his brother, brother. No, he calls him, "this son of yours". Imagine, his brother has been away from home for a long time, no one knew if he was alive or dead, but when he comes home the older brother's response is anger and refusal to even call him his brother.
"Look How Bad He Is"
And of course, the older brother has to remind his father of the evil's that the prodigal has been involved in. He reminds his father that the prodigal has squandered his inheritance on prostitutes. In effect, he is saying, "Look Dad, look how bad he is and look how good I am. How could you favor him over me?"
The Father's Gentle Rebuke
His gentle, loving father reminds him that everything that belongs to him, belongs to the older son. Be grateful, his father implies. Because I have done this for your brother, doesn't mean you are not loved as well. His father continues on to tell him that they had to celebrate. It wasn't optional. They had to rejoice because his brother was dead but now is alive, lost but now found. The father calls the prodigal son, "this brother of yours". The father’s refusal to accept the older son’s denial of their family ties underscores the importance of love and forgiveness.
The Forgiving Father
This father's heart was broken twice. Once, when the younger son wanted to leave home with his inheritance and go live in the world and once again, by the older son's attitude towards his brother's return. This father, unlike many of us, showed love, forgiveness, and mercy, towards them both. He didn't lecture, he didn't scold, he was patient and kind in his reactions towards them both.
God, Our Loving Father
Would that we could have earthly fathers so wise and loving. Some of us have had wonderful fathers, but some of us have never experienced what it means to have a father stand by your side no matter what. Our God is faithful and true. From the Old Testament to the New, we are reminded that God is our loving Father.
Lord, You Are Our Father
In Jeremiah 31:9, God speaks and says He is a Father to Israel; Isaiah 64:8 says, "O Lord, thou are our Father"; Proverbs 3:12 tells us that God corrects us as he would a son in whom he delights. In the New Testament, in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, God is the Father in the story, the wayward son coming home symbolizes those lost in sin who turn to God and the older brother is symbolic of the Pharisees and others who would imagine that only by following the rules perfectly could they be blessed.
What If?
What if the older son's reaction had been something like this?
I have served you for years and now thank God so can my brother.
I have tried to be obedient but I know when I fail you will forgive me just as you did my brother.
I am thankful for all of your blessings and I can't wait to rejoice with you Father, that my beloved brother is home.
Then, instead of being unforgiving, angry, and jealous, the older son could have rejoiced and would have been blessed by his brother's return.
Are We Jealous?
Jealousy was not only a threat in this ancient family but is also a destroyer in our own lives today. Are some siblings jealous of each other’s successes or advantages? Is jealousy causing division in your own family, church, or workplace? Do we notice others seemingly more blessed or talented than we are? Do we see others promoted ahead of us? Are we bothered when others seem to get by so much easier or make better grades in school with what seems like little effort? We should be rejoicing in the successes of others; we should love our families and be happy for family members who have returned from drug addiction or sinful behavior. We need to remove all those jealous "I" statements from our thoughts. For a Christian life is not about self, but about others. Just as the older brother allowed his envy to blind him to the joy of his brother’s return, we, too, may miss opportunities to rejoice with others.
Rejoice With Our Father
Let us pray for our families and ourselves, that we do not give in to jealousy, but instead rejoice in the blessings of others and the love our Father has for each us. Each of us have strengths and weaknesses. As Christians we shouldn't need to compare ourselves to others. Let us all be eager to rejoice with our Lord when "the one who was lost is now found".
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