Our culture teaches us that one of the most important virtues a person can have is self- reliance. A self-reliant person depends on no one and nothing for their happiness and success. They are viewed as strong people who face life head-on. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote a famous essay called "Self Reliance". One of the well-known lines in it says, "Trust thyself". But should we?
Trust implies confidence and faith in someone's character, while to rely means to depend on someone to do something. As Christians, we can trust that God will do what He says, and we can rely on Him because He has promised to supply our needs.
Don't Trust In Man
What does the Bible have to say about trusting yourself? Jeremiah tells us what God says in Jeremiah 17: 5-9, “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord." But God says, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord." He warns that man's heart is sick and deceitful above all things. And in Psalm 118:8 David tells us, "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."
Contrast this to what Paul tells us in Philippians 4:19, "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." We can rely on God's promise to supply all of our needs. Those needs can be emotional, physical or spiritual. We can trust Him.
Self-Reliance Stems From Pride
Believing we can handle everything ourselves makes it more difficult for us to see our need for God. Ultimately, self-reliance stems from pride. We may boast, "I don't need anyone else." Maybe you feel that God has let you down somehow. This can make you doubt God's love and care for you. Because of this, we shove God aside and basically tell Him, "No thanks. I don't need your help. I will do it myself." These feelings are the lies of Satan. In 1 Peter 5:7, Peter tells us to give our worries to God because He cares for us. Trust God, seek His will, and don't depend on your own limited understanding. If we do this, He will show us the right paths to take (Proverbs 3: 5-6).
Rely On God, Not Yourself
In 2 Corinthians 1: 8-9, Paul explains that the trials that he and his fellow workers faced in Asia were so great that they "despaired of their life". So why did this happen, Paul asks? So that they wouldn't rely on themselves, but on God! Sometimes we need to be reminded that we have to rely on God.
Nothing Fruitful Can Happen Without God
In John 15:5, Jesus tells us we can do nothing without God. To produce the kind of fruit in our lives that God wants us to, we are required to be attached to the proper vine - that vine is Jesus. Our fruit should be love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). If we only rely on ourselves we won't produce good fruit.
Self-Reliance That Failed
Look at the failed examples of self-reliance in the Bible. God promised Abraham to make a great nation out of him, but after waiting for years he and Sarah still had no children. Sarah, deciding to be self-reliant, presents Abraham with her handmaid. A child, Ishmael, is born that sews discord between Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 16:5). In God's time Abraham and Sarah had Isaac that fulfilled God's promise of a son (Genesis 21). Matthew 26:31-35 says Peter boldly said that he would never leave or abandon Jesus. Within hours Peter and all the rest of the disciples have done the opposite - they denied or abandoned Him. After Jesus's death and resurrection the disciples cowered in fear. Relying on themselves, they could do nothing. It wasn't until the Holy Spirit came in Acts 2 that the disciples became bold to share their faith.
How Do We Rely On God?
So when we lose our home, spouse, child, health, job, or our money, do we pride ourselves on being self reliant and pulling ourselves together with no one's help. Or do we kneel before God in humility asking for the strength only He can give to us? But how do we rely on God? How do we "let go and let God" as the expression goes?
God Wants What Is Best
First, we trust that God will do what is best for us. Even when we don't understand why something has happened, we know that if we belong to Him, good, in some way, will come from it (Romans 8:28). We should seek His will in prayer and in His word. Admitting to the Lord every day in prayer that we truly do need Him to direct our paths helps us to keep our focus on Him. When our hearts are directed toward Him daily it is easier to rely on Him. Jesus says in John 14:1, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”
Lack Of Prayer Says We Aren't Relying On God
What is the greatest proof that we are relying on self instead of God? It is lack of prayer. Why pray if we have everything under control? Why pray if we have everything figured out? Prayer shows dependency on God. Prayer says, "God, I need you in every aspect of my life." What do you pray about? What do you not pray about? Think about it: those things we aren't praying about are most likely the things we think we have under control. We have become self-reliant in those things.
Study The Word
Studying God's word and getting to know Him helps us to fight against depression and anxiety. The Holy Spirit has promised to bring to mind the scriptures (John 14:25-26). How can we do this if we have never read them? By study, I don't just mean reading a verse for the day, although there can be good in that. Study means digging deeper into His word by joining a small group Bible study, taking notes during sermons, or reading online Bible studies like this one, for example.
The Bible tells us that God's word is useful for teaching, rebuking or pointing out sin, correcting or offering a solution to sin, and training in righteousness, which means training in how to apply God's principles to our lives (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Timothy says we study so that we can be equipped to do "every good work". God's word helps us understand our need to rely only on Him, not on ourselves to do good.
Serving Others
When we are overwhelmed with life, with the bad news of the day, think about serving someone else. We can rely on God and trust Him to give us opportunities to serve if we look for them. Serving others takes the focus off of us and places it on those who need God's love shown to them. Just as Deborah describes how she "arose to be a mother to Israel"(Judges 5:7) and cared for her nation as a judge, so we can in, however small a way, show care and love to others by relying on the will of God.
The Family Of God
We are the family of God (I John 3: 1-2) and because of this we need to spend time with other Christians. We are to build each other up (I Thessalonians 5:11). We come to rely on God when we see Him in those we call our brothers and sisters. They are there for us in time of need just like our Father is. We are there for them because this is God's will. Even the non-Christian world knows that going it alone often leads to more depression and anxiety according to Mind.org.
When we help each other as Christian brothers and sisters, we begin to see how God intended us to live. There is no need for a self-reliance that excludes others or excludes God. We have no need to go it alone. We are a family and will continue to be one throughout eternity. We are all one in Christ (Galatians 3:28).
We Need A Savior
Ultimately, the idea of self-reliance leads to people believing they can save themselves. They can be good enough, kind enough, smart enough, to live with God eternally and this without ever repenting and believing in Jesus as their Savior. In Andy Davis's sermon, "Sinful Self Reliance, Predicted, Exposed and Cured", he says this,
"Our culture sells us this line again and again: you can do anything you want to do, be anything you want to be, if you just believe in yourself. This is the message of self-esteem, of self-confidence, of self-assurance, of self-salvation. It’s part of the American myth, and it is a myth because the Bible is diametrically opposed to all of this. The message of the Bible is that we need a Savior."
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