I heard a pastor say recently that we have confused love for people with being friends with our enemies. I thought about this a lot. Can we love someone and not be friends with them? The Bible says yes. James 4: 4(b) says this,
"Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."
James acknowledges in chapter 2 verse 8 that we should love our neighbor as ourselves. So James knows the requirement for love of others. What the Bible doesn't say is that we have to like them or for that matter even respect them except to acknowledge they are made in the image of God as are we.
Jesus Speaks Truth
Jesus spent much time with worldly people. He didn't "hang out" with them like a buddy. What He did do was speak truth to them out of love. Sometimes it was a harsh truth, sometimes not, but always it was the truth they needed to hear that only someone who truly loved them would speak.
The World Will Hate You
In John 15: 19 Jesus says that because we are not of this world, because we belong to Him, the world will hate us. We will be very different. That doesn't sound very much like we can become friends with the lost. In fact Paul tells us that when we try to become friends with the world that "bad company ruins good morals." (I Corinthians 15:33). When we are in Christ we will be strangers in the world.
One of the lies of the Devil is that we need the love of this world. In the churches today this lie is rampant. The Devil tells God's children that if we truly loved others we would be accepting of their choices. Satan would have us believe that their behavior is "just how they are". We would forget about the necessity of repentance; the necessity to turn from sin and seek the holiness of God.
Whose Praises Are More Important?
Sometimes we desire the love of the world because as John 12: 43 says the praises of men are more important to us than the praises of God. When we become friends with the world we get praised. We are praised for being non-judgmental, because we no longer speak truth. We no longer talk of repentance.
The Gift Of Discernment
The Holy Spirit gives us the gift of discernment for a reason. We are to discern, to understand, the true motives of people. Is this person really as they appear or are they working against us in very subtle ways to undermine our relationship with God? As we deepen our relationship with God we are better able to give people a sacrificial love that doesn't include the affection we would have for a friend.
Sacrificial Love
When Jesus speaks of loving others the Greek word, agapao, was often used. This word has a meaning that includes self-sacrifice, not affection or even emotion. This love puts others before yourself even when you have no 'loving' feeling toward them. This word means a totally unselfish kind of love.
Don't Confuse Love And Acceptance
Think of the worst kind of sin you can imagine, murder or child molestation. Now imagine loving that person, sacrificially. God commands us to have sacrificial love because this is how He loves. He doesn't command us to be friends or be accepting of their behavior. We confuse love with acceptance.
At One Time We Were Enemies Of God
God's sacrificial love for us is that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 8) Or as Paul tells us in Romans 5:10, God reconciled us to Himself through Jesus while we were God's enemies. Therefore God loved us while we were still sinners, but we were not His friend, we were His enemy! The word used for reconciled here means to "change completely". In this case to change from enemies to beloved friends.
Thank you gracious Father for calling us to repent and reconciling us to you.
Amen
Enjoy the beautiful hymn, "Blessed Redeemer", by Casting Crowns here.
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