Everybody knows the big sins: don't kill people, don't steal, don't commit adultery. But what about those sneaky, so-called, little sins? It might surprise you to know that Peter has a rather unusual list of sins for which suffering might occur. He lists murder, stealing, general evildoing, so you think to yourself, "I'm good." No worries on that list, until he adds, being a "busybody in other people's matters" (1 Peter 4:12-19). Wait, what? I can't gossip? I can't stick my nose in other people's business?
The Danger of Idle Words
Our Lord tells us that we will be held accountable for the idle words that we say (Matthew 12:36-37). Idle words are often careless words. We speak without thinking. We may gossip because we have nothing of value to add to a conversation. We may act like a busybody because we haven't thought through what we are saying and what it really sounds like to the other person.
When Helping Becomes Meddling
Often the less we have to keep ourselves busy, the busier with the affairs of others we seem to become. "Let me pray for you" suddenly turns into, "Let me share your troubles with everyone I know." "Let me help you" suddenly becomes, "Do it my way because my way is the best."
A busybody likes to meddle or pry into other people's affairs, often offering offer advice that no one asked for. Even ancient Greek philosophers recognized the problem of busybodies. Theophrastus, a student of Aristotle, had this to say about busybodies:
"In the proffered services of the busybody there is much of the affectation of kind-heartedness, and little efficient aid."
What he is saying is that the busybody offers to help us and pretends to care, but in reality does very little to truly help.
As Paul says in 2 Thessalonians 3:11, "We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies." This warning is repeated in 1 Timothy 5:13, "And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not."
This tendency to meddle isn’t always intentional. Sometimes, what starts as harmless curiosity or a desire to help can turn into unhealthy involvement in others' affairs. For some, being a busybody adds a little spice to their boring lives.
The Bible’s Warning Against Gossip and Busybodies
Busybodies have nothing that excites them, so getting in the middle of other people's drama relieves that bored feeling. Many times their meddling in other people's business backfires. The Bible warns against gossip and busybodies. There are consequences to this behavior. People find themselves suffering loss of friendships, maybe even being betrayed themselves. Proverbs 16:28 warns us, "...a gossip separates close friends”.
The Mistake of Judging Non-Believers
Our unsaved friends who do things we don't approve of are often considered fair game to criticize because "we want them to know Christ". We seem to think it's OK to point out their sins to them. The major complaint non-Christians have against Christians is that as Christians, we want to impose our way of thinking on them. In other words, we want to meddle in their lives. If someone is not a Christian, we can't make them act like one. It is God that changes their heart, not our critical judgment of their lifestyle.
This is not to say that we pat them on the back and tell them they're great when they are in the midst of sin, but maybe it means we just don't say anything unless we have the opportunity to lovingly tell them what Jesus did for us. Let them know your life has meaning and purpose, tell them how God loves us enough to send His Son to die for you.
Of course, sadly, it may be that our non-Christian friends rarely see us talking and acting like Christians ourselves. They should see Christ in us. If they don't, then they may never have an inkling what being a Christian can really mean. Living a Christlike life isn't just a list of things we don't do but more it is the things we do and that we do them with love. When we turn to Christ we turn away from our past and become a new person.
The Power of a Christlike Example
Before this, if someone came and stuck their nose in our business to tell us how wrong we were we wouldn't have given them the time of day. Maybe we would even remember when the Christian standing before us was anything but a Christian. That leads to feelings of "How dare they tell me not to do the very thing they did!"
Before we were Christians many of us lived sinful, selfish lives. We may have felt unloved and purposeless. We didn't need more criticism. Perhaps we felt like we had failed at life already. We needed the Holy Spirit, and when He came and filled us, we knew there was hope, maybe for the first time.
The Holy Spirit’s Role in Conviction
Pointing out sin judgmentally is not our job; it is the job of the Holy Spirit. We are convicted by the Holy Spirit. Again, we aren't supposed to approve of sin, we aren't supposed to say something is OK when it isn't, but we are also not to bring an accusation against someone who doesn't know God.
Only among other Christians are we allowed to talk about biblical accountability with gentleness and humility (Galatians 6:1-2). Christians may be called at times to lovingly correct fellow believers ( Matthew 18:15-17). As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:12, "Are you not to judge those inside?" This is in no way the same as being a busybody. This is done privately and if not resolved, then with one or two other believers as witnesses. If there is still no resolution then the matter is to be brought before the church.
It seems like Christians want to point out what we think are the big sins; fornication, adultery, or maybe lying; but we stay silent on slothfulness, gluttony, idle talk or meddling. Our approach to others, especially non-believers, matters. If our interactions are marked by judgment rather than grace and humility, we risk pushing people away from the very place where they can find healing. This raises an important question: Why don’t people want to go to church?
Why Do People Avoid Church?
They may not want to go to church because, especially if others know them pretty well, they often feel judged. They may feel like church members are wondering why such a big sinner would be in their church. We go to church to hear the Word so that the Word can change us.
We shouldn't go to pretend to be Christians, we go to hear about this Jesus who offers love and forgiveness, who is compassionate and caring and who promises us a new heart. Because often our heart has been broken so many times we can't imagine that there is someone who can make us whole. Church is where we can learn about the Savior who can heal our brokenness. Christians also encounter people online where the temptation to be a busybody can be great.
The Trap of Being an Online Busybody
In a world of social media it is so easy to respond to a post with a slightly, or maybe very, judgmental tone or word. A single 'like' can endorse an unloving comment. Calling someone out for a minor difference in opinion can quickly turn into unnecessary conflict. Without realizing it, we can slip into being online busybodies. Think and pray before you post. There is a world of opportunity online to witness, but again it must be with love and humility.
God’s View on Gossip and Slander
God does not view being a busybody or a gossip lightly. Paul tells us in Romans 1:29-32 of sins that lead to spiritual death. Paul says people who do these things have depraved minds that do what shouldn't be done. In the list are sins you might imagine such as, malice, murder, envy, and deceit. But he also says, "They are gossips." Gossip can sometimes easily become slander. When we say bad things about others that aren't true it is called slander. James 3:15-16 calls such behavior demonic.
A Heart Changed by Christ
A heart changed by God won't stay the same. Have we been busybodies, gossips or slanderers? With the the help of the Holy Spirit we can repent and turn from that sin. The Holy Spirit's loving conviction should lead all of us to a closer walk with His Son. Jesus didn't condemn the woman caught in adultery but remember what He said next, "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11). Our encounter with Christ, our saving knowledge of Him, should lead all of us to desire to sin no more.
The Holy Spirit works on us throughout our lives to bring us closer to Him, if we let Him. Getting involved in other people's business is just one area many of us need to work on. If you listen to Him you will know the areas that need to be improved, the sins that need to be removed from your life. Trust God to work in the hearts of the lost, using you if He wills, to point them to the Savior through whom the Holy Spirit transforms and draws them to love Him.
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