Do you have a friend who seems to always be encouraging you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable? Do you have a friend that always makes excuses for your bad behavior or who actually helps you find ways to indulge that bad behavior? I think all of us at one time or another has had such a "friend".
Amnon's Friend
In the Bible we read the story of Amnon (David's son) and Tamar. Amnon was Tamar's half brother. He was enamored with her. She was quite beautiful and a virgin. He wanted her, but couldn't figure out how to get her. Well, Amnon had a "friend"....
"But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man." II Samuel 13: 3
Some translations use the word "subtle" or "clever" instead of "crafty". The meaning is clear. Amnon's friend, Jonadab, who was also his cousin (family no less), was good at devising plans. Plans that would result in Amnon raping his half sister Tamar.
It gets worse. When Absalom, Amnon's half brother, found out what had happened he eventually hunts down and kills Amnon. He kills Amnon to avenge his sister and because he was angry that David, their father, did not publicly punish Amnon even though David was angry with Amnon.
And worse. Absalom decides to take the throne from David and starts a rebellion. Word is sent from David to his troops not to kill Absalom but eventually Absalom is killed much to David's sorrow. Such is the influence a "friend" can have.
Who's Really Your Friend?
So this subtle, crafty, clever cousin, 'friend' of Amnon, caused a series of horrific events that eventually led to rape and murder. Who do we listen to and what are they saying?
Jonadab, the Enabler
Jonadab was the classic definition of an "enabler". An enabler is someone who encourages or enables negative or self-destructive behavior in another. Such a person is not a true friend. They inject thoughts into us that are often sinful or lead to sin. They excuse us. They are truly tools of the devil.
Honorable Thoughts
In Philippians 4:8 we are told:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
So our thoughts should be on the positive things of life not on plots and plans to commit sin.
What is Your Friend Saying?
So if you have a friend who says things like:
Go out with her once, it's ok, she's married but so what, who will know?
Just try it, you won't get addicted one time. It's incredible. You need to experience this.
I went to this site on line and you can't believe the stuff I saw. You should check it out.
Everybody has sex, what can it hurt?
So you did one bad thing, everybody does bad stuff.
RUN!
Run from that "friend", even if they're family. It may be hard. You may really enjoy hanging out with them. But if you listen to these lies there will be a price to pay. A price much bigger than we think. Ask yourself, who's really your friend? Look for a true friend.
Prayer to Listen to the Right Voice
Lord, help me to break free from listening to friends who encourage me to sin and help me to fill my thoughts with your peace, joy and optimism. Father help me to recognize those voices that I should not be listening to and instead hear only YOUR voice.
Amen
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